Young at Heart
by Newsweetcatygirl
Summary: Edward has been in the company of perfectly paired couples for many decades and it is finally starting to take its toll. He sees the love they have and it makes him question what he has to live for. Is there anything that can change his mind?
1. Enough is Enough

**Hello Everyone! This is the second story I've written, so I'm excited to hear from everyone. This is a story I've been wanting to write forever so hopefully everyone else we enjoy it. **

**I do not own Twilight. S****tephenie Meyer, I bow to you :)**

Preface:

Over a hundred years I've roamed this earth and in those years I have never desired the company of anyone other than the members of my family. As every other vampire can attest, as our body is frozen in time so is our temperaments and personalities. I was a 17 year old boy when I was introduced to this new world. The love I had in my life was given to my mother, my father, my military aspirations, and my education. The few romantic experiences I had were so insignificant that I can only vaguely remember such exploits. I had no desire to experience them fully.

My endeavors were mostly singular ones and I was content with that. I frequently spent time with my family but I was aware that their mates were there first priority, even the people that have taken up the role as my parents - my creator and second mother. I never begrudged them of that, and for the longest time I never gave it a second thought, but I have lately begun to feel lonely, listening to the love between my family members. Going through the same motions year after year. I find myself becoming bitter with my lot in life. I look around the cafeteria of our current high school and I find myself consumed by misery and loneliness.

Jasper looks at me, feeling the emotions that are running rampant in me. Alice also looks up seeing my plan to end the boredom and useless rut that is my life. "_Please Edward don't!"_

I look in her eyes and initially there is desperation, but after she sees the determination she realizes that there is nothing that can be done to change my mind. I know that there will be a discussion tonight about this, but in the end it won't matter. Tonight I will end my monotonous life, and my family will have to live without me.

At the end of the day I forgo riding with my family and instead run the long way towards my house, giving me time to think and avoiding the inevitable. I know that they will be hurt by my decision. In the end they will understand, but they will not agree with it. It pains me to know I will be causing my mother unneeded distress, but she will get over it. As will the rest of them. I suppose it's time for me to face the music, so to speak.

As I get closer to the house I hear Carlisle inside and realize Alice must have called him and told him what was happening. For him to come home early from work is not an everyday occurrence and it does not go unnoticed by anyone else in the house. Alice has not disclosed my plans to anyone but Carlisle, which left the rest of the house in a state of confusion. I owe it to them to tell them what's going on. I am now close enough to hear everyone's thoughts. Sometimes I wish that there would be nothing but silence. I wish I could enjoy the company of someone without having to deal with their thoughts, which are usually centered about their needs and wants. I sound like a pessimistic old man, but can you blame me. After years of hearing the same dribble I find that the mystery of human thought and behavior becomes rather dull and uninspiring.

"_Edward, if you can hear me please don't do this. We can find another way to help you. There must be another way…" - Alice_

"_How could I let this happen? How could I not see how miserable he has been? He has always been a serious young man, but how could I have missed all the warning signs?" - Carlisle._

I knew that Carlisle would blame himself, but the anger that I held for him has long since faded away. I have grown to accept and appreciate the gift of immortality, even if my feelings have been rather dark as of late.

"_What is with all the fuss! This must have something do with Edward. Why must he be such a drama queen!" - Rosalie_

That was not surprising.

"_Jeez, it's like someone dies or something. I wish they wouldn't keep these secrets all the time. Just tell everyone and we'll figure it out" - Emmett_

I always appreciated Emmett's happy go lucky attitude, but I'm doubtful that there is anything he or anyone can do to help me.

"_Is there some danger to us? Why hasn't Alice told me what's wrong" - Jasper_

Everyone always hates when Alice and I have our private conversations, especially Jasper. He feels hurt that Alice does not tell him everything that we discover. In some ways he is jealous of me, but at the end of the day he knows that there is nothing he needs to be worried about. If only he knew that at times I was jealous of him and the rest of our family.

I walk through the doorway and all activity simultaneously stops. Carlisle stares at me with such sadness that I can barely take it. It shakes me so much that I don't have the courage to look anyone else in the eye. I sit on the couch and wait for someone to speak. I'm so guilty for what I'm about to say I don't have the courage to start the conversation myself.

"Edward, why?" I wish Carlisle could understand and realize that at the end of the day this will be better for everyone.

I look up, still not looking anyone in the eye and say the words that no one wants to tell their loved ones.

"I'm not happy. I haven't been for awhile now. When I was changed I thought that I would never be anything than what I was at the time. A teenage boy that wished for a life full of experiences that some could only dream of. I have done so much in my years on earth. I have met so many wonderful people". As I look around the room I see shock, and fear of what I have to say next.

"But there are things that have changed. Things that can not be undone. I live in a family surrounded my love and as lucky as I am, I am lonely. I realize that no matter how much you all care for me, I know that I will always be second to the most important people in your lives. I don't say this to make you feel guilty, it's just the facts of mated couples. I live with this, coupled with the rut I now find myself in and the constant thoughts of others, I don't think I can go on. I can't live like this anymore! It's time for me to leave".

I hear Esme gasp and Alice begins to cry on Jasper's shoulder. Why can't I have that? "I won't be gone forever, just for a little while. I just need to get away from it all. I'll be back soon. I promise". I walk towards the woman that has been my mother for many decades. "Please don't be upset Esme. I'll call you once a week. I'll tell you where I am, what I'm doing and how I'm doing". I hug her and I feel her clutching me with all her strength, almost as though she is trying to physically keep me there. I hug her with as much strength as I can give without hurting her and I whisper in her ear, "I love you mom!" She starts to sniffle and it kills me to hurt her. "Promise me you'll come back". I take an unnecessary breath and tell her the words she wants to hear, hoping that I'm able to follow through with what I'm saying. "I promise".


	2. The Change to Come

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed or has ****Favorited my story. It's something that I have had been thinking about writing for awhile so being encouraged to continue it is wonderful! Please continue to do so, as well as tell all your friends (even your enemies lol) about ****_Young at Heart_**** and ****_The Holy Spirit_**** - They are my first stories and I am very proud of them! Even if you have to rent a sky-writer (that's up to you of course) try to spread the world...**

**Ok I'll stop ranting and let you get to the story - I do not own Twilight, I only idolize Stephenie Meyer ;)**

Chapter 1:

My time away from my family consisted of constant moving, and searching for some sort of fulfillment. All I found was small distractions that always led to boredom and a sense of failure. I ended up returning to my family with my tail between my legs only 6 months after I felt the itch to leave. My family was happy to see me, but I had only become more depressed and withdrawn - turning their joy at me returning home to concern for my worsening mood.

Again, I hated causing them pain but after so long of feeling this way I began to lose all ability to care about anything. Nothing held my interest anymore.

"Edward would you consider going back to school with your siblings. I'm sure they all miss you sharing their classes and lunch period". Oh Esme, how would a school full of adolescent thoughts cure me from my depression.

"No thank you Esme". Please stop trying to help me interact with others. Just help me ensure silence and tranquility.

"Just give up on him Esme. You can only help someone who wants help. If Edward wants to lay around like a little bitch then let him!" You can always rely on Rosalie to give her honest and uncensored opinion.

"Rosalie! That was completely uncalled for! How could you say that?" I've never seen her become so angry.

"Esme please don't upset yourself so much. She has always been one to say what's on her mind, and when it comes to what she said it doesn't matter either way. Perhaps it would be easier if I was not here to lay around as she puts it". I started to laugh with a dark chuckle that I have never heard come from me before. "Perhaps it would be better for everyone if I wasn't around at all, huh?"

I see how I look in everyone's mind, and I see a sadistic smirk on my face and dead eyes that have stopped me in my track. A feeling that seems to be shared by everyone in the room.

"_Damn" - Emmett_

"_Wow, It's gone from being annoying to being sad" - Rosalie_

"_Oh my God, what am I supposed to do?!" - Esme_

The pain I felt at hurting my family is now becoming dull, like a knife after multiple uses. I don't think my mind can be sharpened and at this point, all I want to do is become as numb as possible. The feeling is getting stronger everyday and I feel like soon I will be able to zone everything out.

I hear Carlisle coming in the driveway thinking about some friend of his that is coming to visit.

"Everyone come into the dining room please. I have an announcement to make". "_Why does everyone seem so upset?" _If he wasn't so excited by the prospect of seeing his old friend once again he probably would have investigated the rooms' ambiance, but lately everyone has been searching for any form of escape from the heavy feeling that has now made permanent residence in this house due to my poor spirits. To push my 'adopted' father to these lengths would be a devastating blow if I had the capacity to feel anything.

He is taking more shifts at the hospital, having more dates out with Esme, and with the upcoming visitor it gives him another reason to avoid the problem that he feels he has caused. He has always held some guilt from every bite he gave to his created family. Having to witness me in my current state has only made it worse.

"My friend Alistair is coming to visit. I usually only see him every other century, but he seems excited to share something with me and I think it wouldn't hurt for this family to have some sort of distraction".

"_Edward, please keep an open mind!" - Carlisle_

All I can do is scoff at such a request. Why can't they understand?

"Edward please" My bitterness is wearing on my patience and Carlisle's pleas fall on deaf ear.

"Carlisle, I don't see how you expect me to open my mind more than it already is! I promise to be civil with your friend but I can promise nothing else!"

By this point my anger has taken and unless I step away from the situation I don't know what I will do.

"_My God, help me save my son from his internal demons!" - Carlisle_

The only demon that haunts me is the one I see in the mirror.

* * *

"He's on his way. He said he would arrive in Anchorage in 20 minutes and then after the 2 hour ferry he should be here soon after that. Alice do you know for sure when he should be here?"

"_Who knew Carlisle could be so anxious for a friend to arrive. He barely mentions him." - Jasper_

I would have to agree with Jasper. It's very out of character for him to seem impatient about anything. As an immortal there is no need to be in a hurry. What's the point? We literally have all the time in the world.

"I don't know Carlisle. I can't see anything. It's almost like he's not coming at all. Maybe you should call and see if he is ok." She has always been able to see someones future unless they were dead, and even though she has never met him he directly affects our future. She should be able to see him coming. There is definitely something going on here. Carlisle expressed the same concern and quickly took out his cell phone and called Alistair.

"It's ringing". His anxiousness is again rearing its ugly head as he taps his feet at a constant rhythm. "Carlisle" I guess that soothes any fears of his well being.

"Alistair, I just wanted to see if any of your plans had changed". I can hear in his thoughts that he is desperate for some sort of explanation for Alice's lack of foresight.

"It seems that I will be seeing you sooner than I thought. In fact I was about to call and inform you we should be there in a matter of minutes. Is that alright?"

"Of course it's alright. I'll see you soon". Hanging up his phone he turns to us with obvious relief and the safety of his friend, and then confusion.

"What do you think he means by we? Perhaps he has finally found a mate. With everything that he has been through he certainly deserves it".

There was a lot of heartbreak he experienced at the hands of his own family. For him to find someone to share his life with someone is as amazing as it is unbelievable. But for his sake I hope it is true. I hear that Carlisle is thinking something very similar to me. The rest of the family is happy for our father and his reunion with his old friend, but with everything that has been going on every occasions seems to be entwined with tension. Esme is happy for her husband but will never let go of her fear until she sees me smile. Alice is upset not being able to see what's about to happen. Jasper is trying to comfort his wife, not caring about anything else at the moment. Emmett is not worried and Rosalie is unaffected. With them there is very few changes in temperament.

A car is heard about a mile away, which is odd for being in such a reclusive location. I don't have to be Alice to know that our guests are on their way. Soon enough said car is parking in the driveway and there is a knock at the door that seems to bring all of us back to life. Carlisle rushes to the door, yet another unneeded actions, and opens the door to find a ragged looking man; sporting a 5 o'clock shadow, unkempt hair, worn out trench coat and a knapsack that is carelessly slung over his shoulder. He moves to shake Carlisle's hand, but surprisingly pulls him in for a hug instead. Yet another odd thing that has happened today. This is again another person acting out of character. An egotistical thought enters my head and I start to wonder whether this is all happening to pull me out of my pursuit of eliminating all emotions and cares in the world.

"Carlisle! It's good to see you. We have not spoke in a long time. I hope to remedy that. Which is why I want you to be one of the few people that I have introduced to the most precious creature in my entire life".

What could be so important? I still can't believe this is the same man from Carlisle's memories. What is he showing us.

"It is my pleasure for you to meet my daughter, Isabella."

A petite young woman walks in, a blush on her cheeks. A clear indication of her nervousness at meeting new people. From Alistair's introduction it is apparent that she has not been in the company of that many people in her life. She is beautiful; with brunette hair mixed with hints of red and when the sun shines through the open door. It illuminates her hair reminding me of an angelic scene painted in the early renaissance era. Her deep brown eyes...wait! She has a blush, brown eyes, a steady heart beat that corresponds with the sound of blood pulsing through her veins. Her smell is delicious, but not in a way that induces the monster in me to emerge. It's a combination of human and vampire scent! I can't imagine anything smelling better. She truly is an angel, and yet it brings up an important question. What is she?


	3. The Start to Something New

**Hey Everyone! Hopefully everyone is enjoying the story...I can't wait to hear more from you guys!**

**I do not own Twilight**

Chapter 3:

"Well...hello everyone", Her voice is a surprisingly has a low, raspy alto tone to her voice that counters her petite frame. She looks around her surroundings as though she expecting something to pop out at her, or something to happen suddenly. It is then brought to my attention that I can hear no thoughts coming from her. All I can do is guess what she is thinking. Why must she be such a mystery. She looks to Alistair, or should I say her father, with an inquisitive eyebrow lift and then turns to Carlisle. "I'm happy to finally meet a friend of my fathers that he seems to think so highly of", her language and presence is nothing but impeccable, but I feel as though it is not her usual personality.

"I hope that I'm not too forward when I say this, but could we perhaps see more of your beautiful house than just the entryway. Maybe we could sit down somewhere" Near the end her true self seems to shine through. She appears opinionated, witty, with a spirited attitude on life and most importantly, happy. I find myself attracted to her youthful innocence, a feeling that I share with others as well.

"_Her joy is intoxicating. Compared to what we've lived in this feels like a breath of fresh air. Oh...Sorry Edward". - Jasper_

"_I didn't expect a child of Alistair's to be so...Happy-go-lucky. I can't think of another way to describe it. Of course that's not the only surprising thing about her. Which leads us to...oh yes, all we've done is stare, how rude!"- Carlisle_

"Yes of course", It's obvious he's embarrassed for openly gawking at the young woman. He nervously glances between Alistair and Isabella afraid to find any affronted expressions. Luckily Esme, being the welcoming person that she is swoops in to save us all from our social flop.

"It's nice to meet you Alistair, Bella. If you would both join us in the Living Room we can all get to know each other". She confidently guides them into the house as we all follow them like little children.

"Thank you Esme. As I predicted you have a lovely home! And please, call me Bella". She laughs as she says this and I can't help but smile. Esme turns to thank her, but she sees catches a glimpse of my face and even though she tries to hide her excitement I can tell that she is hoping that interacting with new people could perhaps be the answer to her prayers. Her wish that I would be the content son that she has had since she first entered my life all those years ago.

We all sit down for what is sure to be an interesting conversation.

* * *

As I look around the room I note the seating arrangements that everyone is in. Carlisle is sitting in the love couch with Esme, their backs to the fireplace. Rosalie is sitting on Emmett's lap in the armchair next to them, while Alice is sitting in the chair on the other side of the couch. Jasper stands behind her and puts his hands on her shoulders, a gesture that shows his love and devotions while subtly showing his protectiveness of his mate to the unknown people in front of him. That leaves the larger couch across from Carlisle and Esme open. Alistair escorts Bella to her seat which leaves me to either lean against the wall behind one of the armchairs or sitting on the couch next to Bella. Usually I would choose the former, but...I wouldn't want to seem rude to Bel...I mean to Carlisle's friend and his daughter. It could also give me the chance to get closer to her and perhaps pick up some of her thoughts. That's why I want to sit there, I think.

"So Alistair, What have you been up to the last year"? It's not lost on Alistair that when Carlisle asks him this his eyes momentarily shift to Bella.

"I had heard stories of male vampires procreating with human females and producing half-breed children. I have since meet some of them and discovered they have the same traits as both vampires and humans. They had hard and pale skin, the strength, the speed; yet they also had a heartbeat, blood continuously pulsing through their system - ironically making them stronger than most. In previous cases said females usually died during childbirth. I was able to save Renee by turning her after Isabella was born. She will be joining us in a weeks time, as well as her sister".

"We don't mean to imply that we would take advantage of your hospitality for such a long period". Bella nervously looked between Alistair and Carlisle, "But father had assumed that you would like to discuss his findings. I assure you we are perfectly able to find a place to stay during our visit".

"We would be happy to share in your company for as long as you are here. In fact, there is a cottage on the outskirts of our property that we occasionally use as a residence when some of us want to get away from the family for awhile. I invite you to stay there as long as you need to". It seems Carlisle has gotten over his shyness from before after being promised access to the knowledge of a race he was not previously aware of.

"Then it's decided. Isabella, I believe it is time for you to retire to our assigned quarters. Carlisle would you be so kind as to escort us. After Isabella is able to orientate herself with her surroundings and I am able to change out of my current attire we can come back to your study and start our discussion".

I notice some irritation coming from Bella as he refers to her using her full name but I am only guessing now. I look over to Jasper in hopes of proving my theory but all I hear is more confusion…

_Alice can't see anything when it involves the girl, I can't feel or seem to project any emotion on to her. Edward, can you hear her thoughts?" _I shake my head slightly and that seems to transform his curiosity to concern. "_What is going on here"? _I can see him working through all possible outcomes and trying to conceive a plan for each one, but for once he is at a lose. He is worried that with Bella there is danger, but I don't know what to think yet...

"_Why would he wish to leave Isabella alone on her first night here?" _After hearing his thoughts I begin to share in Carlisle's confusion, but it seems Esme has once again saved us from a potential social flop.

"Alistair, Isabella is more than welcome to stay here while you and Carlisle discuss what you wish to".

"It's fine Esme. Isabella much prefers to be alone when she sleeps and it will give her time to become comfortable here". Carlisle and Esme still seem unsure about it but not wanting to seem rude to their guests they let it go.

"I would be happy to show Isabella where the cottage is so that you don't have to wait to start your discussion". Every member of my family looks at me in shock. They are surprised that I would not only insert myself in a conversation but offer to volunteer myself for any activity whatsoever. However, the shock that they feel is lost on Alistair and Isabella.

"That would be very kind of you Edward. I'm sure that she would not mind this at all, would you Isabella".

She looks to her father with respect but for some reason I think I see a flicker of some other emotion running through her eyes…

"Of course I don't mind father. Thank you for being so obliging Edward".

"I don't mind at all Bella, I am happy to do it". And for the first time in years I feel like I mean it. She's the first person I have met that I have not been able to read. That must be why I'm so excited...


End file.
